At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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