oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
