Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Sponge bath it is.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
