Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
