this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
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just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
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Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Two words: nipple clamps
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