Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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