Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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