we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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