I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
