If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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