mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no you cant smoke seaweed
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize