It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
