wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Text me some of your sweat
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
