My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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