I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize