I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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