We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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