I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
