P.S. I can't hear my feet
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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