If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I supernannyed him into submission
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize