I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
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