I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
