dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
