My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
