she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
