im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
