yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
