is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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