we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
