This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
