Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
