Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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