is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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