At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
