im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
