Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
