Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
