I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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