Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
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I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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