it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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