If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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