A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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