i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
