Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
