You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize