Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
