she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
My bed smells like the plague
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
