Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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