watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
