I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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