I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
