That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
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WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
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NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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