idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
