You're completely useless in the revolution.
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
