im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
