Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
