what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
