So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
