If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
