Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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