Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
The convent might be a nice break from real life
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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