I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
