They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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