pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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