chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
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